The best part of a recent delivery was not the work. It was how close I came to missing it.
I had built a website for a food court owner named Chris, of Uncle Chops Food Court. On paper, that was the whole file. Eight years in, great food, stacked reviews. If I had emailed him the login and moved on to the next thing on my list, that is all he ever would have been to me. A completed job.
But I drove out to deliver it in person, and we ended up sitting next to his bar. I offered up one personal thread, my wine journey, and the file got a lot thicker. He had just hosted a wine dinner. He has real opinions about cheap bottles for a random Tuesday. And he has his own label, a partnership with a winery. The man has his own private reserve. He poured me a glass of something you cannot buy anywhere.
I meet business owners all week. It is most of the job. And I keep relearning the same thing. The surface read is never the whole person. Everybody is carrying something that never comes up in a transaction. A partnership. A craft. A plan they have been quietly working for years. A private label. You do not get to see it by being efficient. Transactions do not surface it. It only comes out sideways, when you offer a thread of your own and give the conversation room to wander.
This is the part of business that gets automated away by accident, and it is the part that actually builds a company. It is faster to send the link. It is faster to keep every interaction a clean transaction. But the relationship, the referral, the customer who stays for ten years, none of that comes from efficiency. It comes from the one extra question and the willingness to be a person for a few minutes longer than the task required.
So the move is simple. With your customers, your vendors, your team, lead with something real and see what comes back. Ask the one question the transaction does not require. What are they proud of. What are they working on that has nothing to do with you. You will be surprised how often that is where the trust, and the next opportunity, actually lives.
One more question. That is usually all it costs. Send the link if you have to. Walk it over if you can.
Originally published in Daniel Rivera's newsletter, Between Meetings & Meals, on Substack and at danielgrivera.com.
